Rhymes Of The Soul: Varsha Kumar

Forever in this place I stand
Drowning in a sea of land
My eyes they see all around
Yet what they see I have not found

My heart it beats loudly in my ears
Echoing my thoughts and fears
I stand alone in a crowd
Their silence seems to me too loud

I can not stand all they are
Their vacant smiles that stretch too far
Their searching eyes that hope to see
Yet blind they are to all that can be

They will never know, will never understand
Why I'm drowning upon their land
For I wish only to be seen
To stop my running, stop my fleeing

All I wish is for them to know
Who I am and where I want to go
But to do this I must stand apart
Show them me, produce my heart

I wish to no longer be in the crowd
And I shout to them all aloud
Forever I shall stand alone
For as myself I am home

Confusion,
The state of mind I'm often in.
In and out of it so sudden.
Confused by the things I thought I knew.

Confused because I'm in love with you.
I don't know how I got here,
I don't know how long I'll stay.
But soon enough I'll be on my way.

In love with a player.
In love with the game.
In love, your so charming.
In love and to blame.

Confused why I let my self.
Confused this can't be me.
Confused by the fact that I'm in love with someone who will never love me.
Confused with the tears.

I never let fall.
Confused because I gave you them all.
I never thought I'd be here.
I can't wait to leave.

I'm in love and hurting and you don't see.
Love is a confusion its a game.
When you get here there's nobody to blame.
Except your confusion!

You hold my hand when I am weak,
And vulnerable at times.
And as you smile I cannot help
But turn my lips upward,

And duplicate the joy
Which lays spread across your face.
When I am sad or unsure,
You make me laugh.

And as you look into my eyes,
They seem to glitter and sparkle
With such energy and life
That I have never seen before.

And it makes me want to be closer to you
All the time.
And even when I am happy and content,
You are there for me.

Just in case I should happen to tumble or fall.
And as you laugh your sound carries across the room,
And it makes me want to be a better person.
As we go along together,

I realize how lucky I am
To be sharing my life with someone as special as you.
You are my everything;
My comfort, my weakness, my joy.

And I thank God everyday
For sending someone like you
To care and comfort me in times of need,
And to be my guardian angel.

For this I thank you,
And hope you will stay in my heart
Forever.

How do I tell you I'm sorry -
With a gesture, a look, a touch?
How is it I never realized
I hurt you so very much?

I do not ask forgiveness,
A comfort I'll never deserve.
I merely want to let you know,
But I cannot find the nerve.

To finally confront you, face-to-face,
To look you in the eye,
To face your wrath, your apathy -
Too terrified to try.

You called me selfish, I turned away,
I festered and I fled;
Cutting and wounding and lashing out,
Just to see if you bled.

Betraying and deceiving you,
I surely had no right
To snatch away such a precious gem;
A dark thief in the night.

Four years and forever passed
To bring us to this day,
When I present these simple words
I never thought to say.

The time has come, it's long past due,
To put aside my fear;
Would this confession torture you,
Or have you longed to hear?

To hear those two forbidden words,
To vanquish all the pain,
To understand my dearest wish:
To know you once again.

The years aged me remarkably,
Though they have not made me wise;
I do know I erred irrevocably -
For that I apologize.